Mission: SantaBuchou
by x.lithium
Summary: TezukaFuji; In which Eiji has a dream; to turn Tezuka into Santa!Buchou and make him kiss Fuji under the mistletoe. For Bloodyrose.


If Prince of Tennis were mine, Oshitari would eat a frog and grow flippers.  
Dedicated to _BloodyRoseXTortureIsLife_ for the prompt; _I just had this idea for a TeFu story while I was listening to a Christmas song. Have someone somehow knock Tezuka out and give him to Fuji in a santa suit._

**MISSION: SANTA!BUCHOU  
x.**lithium**x.**lithium**x.**lithium**; **

Echizen knew that deep down, Eiji-senpai was the devil.

He should've known better than to accept Eiji-senpai's (suspicious) offer to pay for his burgers, because it was between mouthfuls of heavenly flavours that Eiji-senpai oh so inconspicuously asked him a favour. It was only later, when the burger induced euphoria had wore off that Echizen realized what he had agreed to do for his red-headed senpai.

The truth was, almost nobody could refuse Eiji-senpai. The acrobat's quivering lips and saucer sized pools of cat-like navy could every now and then get him out of having to drink Inui's penalty drinks (when Tezuka wasn't hovering nearby to ensure that everyone drank their penalty drinks, of course) by charming Inui. Not even the sadistic Fuji-senpai could deny Eiji-senpai when the latter pulled on his puppy face.

Of all his senpai, only Tezuka seemed able to resist Eiji-senpai's charms. To Echizen, Tezuka-buchou (and Fuji-senpai, but only when he was playing seriously. Which was, like, never! Except when he was playing Tezuka-buchou. Mada mada dane, Fuji-senpai) was practically the Pinnacle of Tennis Perfection. Echizen looked up to Tezuka and wanted to be cool and able to resist Eiji-senpai like Buchou, but he thought of himself more as a laid-back, benevolent (less laps!) to-be buchou, as opposed to Tezuka's I-am-Buchou-PHEAR-MEH-or-RUN-LAAAAAAAAAPS tactic.

Therefore, Echizen concluded that it was not his fault that he could not deny Eiji-senpai's puppy face.

Unfortunately, it was due to this flaw that he was here, pulling an empty potato sack over a struggling Tezuka buchou while Eiji-senpai glomped Tezuka's chest in an attempt to keep him still. Sometimes, Echizen thought that he should really get rid of his burger obsession. Apparently, Momo-senpai was thinking along the same lines because it was taking all his body weight just to keep one of Buchou's arms down and was muttering something about it was time for a burger intervention.

Buchou, on the other hand, was struggling and "Mmf!"-ing as Inui tried to keep Buchou's mouth shut with one hand and scribbling into his notebook with the other. Apparently this was Ii data on Tezuka.

Now, just why were they kidnapping Buchou, again? Ah yes, apparently, Kikumaru-senpai had had a (cue the drumroll) _dream_. No, Eiji-senpai had kindly explained, not those kinds of dreams where he slept, the kind where an idea just popped into his head and he just _had _to fulfill it, no matter the cost!

Just what was this dream? Well, Eiji-senpai had convinced all the regulars that they just _had_ to kidnap Buchou, make him wear a Santa costume and kiss Fuji-senpai under the mistletoe. Of course, the fact that it was the middle of May didn't deter Eiji-senpai at all. Eventually, all the Regulars had agreed to assist Eiji-senpai. Momo and himself had been easily bought over with a few dozen burgers, while Taka-san immediately agreed once handed his racquet. Inui just nodded and whipped out his notebook (Echizen was almost afraid of the number of evil senpai there were in Seigaku). Kaidoh was bribed with an adorable kitten and Oishi immediately agreed once his doubles partner burst into tears.

So here they were, having carried a Buchou-within-a-potato-sack into Eiji-senpai's house with a glaring buchou seated (gagged and tied, of course) on a spinny chair while Eiji-senpai happily stuffed their buchou into a Santa costume. Echizen was already trying to calculate how many hundreds of laps they'd have to run when Tezuka-buchou was finally freed.

Perhaps they should just kill Tezuka-buchou while they had the chance before Tezuka-buchou assigned them the inevitable laps? But that would be a terrible loss for the tennis world _and _Fuji-senpai would probably torture them so much they'd wish they were dead. Echizen sighed, he was doomed. Who would feed poor Karupin once he died at the hands of Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-senpai? What if they took Karupin and killed him in front of Echizen's eyes to torture him?! Oh no!

Well, it was too late to turn back now, because Eiji-senpai had happily announced that Fuji-senpai was on his way for a study session and a very irritated Tezuka was seated on the couch with mistletoe hanging above his head.

When Fuji-senpai arrived, Echizen watched Fuji-senpai watch Tezuka-buchou. Fuji's abrupt laugh nearly made Echizen fall over in shock, but soon, Fuji had seated himself beside Tezuka on the couch and was patting Tezuka's santa-pants clad knee. Tezuka sent Fuji a look that clearly said _get me out of this NOW_.

"Nya! Kiss him Fujiko-chan, kiss Santa!Buchou."

Laughing, Fuji pat Eiji on the head as he removed the gag in Tezuka mouth. It was weird that Fuji-senpai was being so helpful with Eiji's plan, but Echizen figured it had something to do with the fact that Fuji-senpai would take _any _excuse to kiss Buchou.

Coughing as his mouth was freed, Tezuka glared at all the regulars, but before he could assign laps (to Echizen's relief), Fuji leaned forward and kissed Tezuka-buchou on the lips. Eiji squealed and clapped his hands noisily. Unfortunately for Buchou, being tied greatly reduced his balance, so he toppled over backwards with Fuji-senpai falling over with him and landing in a more than compromising position.

True to his nature, Echizen pulled his cap down (albeit with a visible blush at the sight of his two senpais still making out) and proceeded to say Mada mada dane. Sadly, he had only made it past the first "Mada-" when he was interrupted by a loud moan coming from Tezuka-buchou, if the deep voice was anything to judge by. Echizen had not known that Tezuka-buchou was capable of making such .. _aroused _sounds. Ew.

Eiji clapped and bounced happily and Tezuka fought harder against his bindings, trying to get his arms and legs freed.

By the time Fuji had helped Tezuka get rid of the ropes tying him down, the Regulars were in a mess of laughing/hiding-from-Buchou/and rolling on the floor laughing even harder. Tezuka was pulling Fuji erratically towards the door and was halfway there when he turned around and growled at them the ridiculous amount of laps they would all be running tomorrow.

Echizen just thought that Tezuka was quite Mada mada dane, because Buchou had apparently forgotten that he was currently wearing a Santa costume in his rush to drag Fuji back to his house. Oh well.

--

Argh. Everything I write turns out .. BLEH, lately. I think I might take a break from writing TezukaFuji, for a while.  
Lithium;


End file.
